Junior Prom
I have been cleaning out closets and boxes of stuff that I haven’t seen for decades and ran across a photo of me and my date at the Junior Prom in high school. I think I looked pretty good and had a nice engaging smile on my face while my date not only had the skinniest legs I have ever seen, he had a strange disconnected look on his face. I got thinking about that and remembered why he probably looked so spaced out. He was!
I emailed the photo to my siblings and told them he was the “date from hell”. They wrote back wondering why I said that and wanted to hear the whole story. They might have heard tidbits of this story before but they just didn’t know which skinny kid was the culprit until I found this photo. I am sort of hoping my children and grandchildren don’t read this as it doesn’t reflect too well on my character, but in the interest of a good story, here goes.
When “Skinny Kid” asked me to the Prom I thought he was very nice and I looked forward to having a good time with him. As it turned out he wasn’t a nice kid and I had a rotten time. It all started out with him showing up for the date drunk. I didn’t know he was drunk. I didn’t know what alcohol smelled like and had no idea why he was acting the way he was, kind of stupid and quiet. We went to the dance at the high school gym and just sat down. He didn’t talk. We didn’t dance. We just sat there. Finally I asked him if we were going to dance and he said that he was too drunk to dance. I was shocked. I got mad and told him I wanted to go home so we walked out the door and he took me home. Why I ever let him drive me home when he was drunk is beyond me, but I did? I guess I hadn’t seen the ads about not letting friends drive drunk. Or wait, that was probably before those ads or maybe before even TV was invented….it was a long time ago.
Well, the next thing I know it was a week later. I was walking out of the local judge’s court in our small town after talking him out of a traffic ticket I had gotten previously for going 37 in a 35 mph zone coming home from working at the drugstore. Grrr! Give me a break! As I walked out, who should happen to be walking in but an old friend from grade school with an uptight air about her probably caused by her very uptight father who exuded the “better than anyone else” attitude. She asked what I was doing there and for some insane reason and probably because I wanted to shock her socks off and knew exactly what would happen, I told her I had been there to pay a fine for speeding and told her a cock and bull story that got me in big trouble later. Good grief! Why do I ever open my mouth?
I told her the story of my going to the prom with “Skinny Kid” who was drunk which was true enough, but then my imagination ran wild and I told big fat lies about what happened after I decided to go home from the prom. I told her that I took his car keys and drove myself home. I said I was so upset and mad that I was crying and drove way too fast down main street…100 mph. I said a cop stopped me and found a bunch of beer in his car (same beer he used to get drunk with). The cop thought it was mine and arrested me and took me to jail and thus I had to appear at court. The more I fabricated the bigger my friend’s eyes got. It was wonderful. So for a few days I enjoyed by ability to shock my pious friend.
Then one day after school Mom and Dad called me into the living room and with such serious eyes and voices asked what I had been up to. I had no idea what they were talking about. They pressed and pressed and I couldn’t for the life of me come up with anything too naughty that I had done. Not that week anyway. Finally Dad said he had spoken with pious friend’s father the previous evening and was told that “Ruth bears watching”. I instantly knew what they were talking about and started laughing. I almost rolled on the floor I was laughing so hard. They were not impressed but when I told them the whole story Dad made some comment about the pious father that made me think Dad wasn’t too impressed with him either. The subject was dropped and I never got in any trouble for my big fat lie or my imaginary misconduct. Mom and Dad were pretty cool. And I learned a good lesson, be careful who you lie to. They might believe you.
So, that’s the story of the date from hell with “Skinny Kid”. And needless to say, I never went out with him again….but I did keep the photo. I can’t imagine why. Maybe so I could remember this story and blog about it someday.
